Cross-posted with The Connecticut Collaborative to End Loneliness here.

Last year, I put together a directory of groups you can join and spaces you can visit in Norwalk. This year, I’m updating it - but this time around I’m not doing it alone.

Even after a couple of years of learning everything I can about what this city has to offer, no amount of individual effort can outpace the collective knowledge of the community. No matter what I do, somebody out there is going to know about something that I’ll never find on my own.

But that’s not even the biggest benefit of reaching out to others. When I invite people to help me update the directory, it becomes our directory. Everyone who contributes takes on a sense of shared ownership - and they become more likely to be curious about what I’m up to.

I want to inform folks about what’s out there, sure, but I also want to set an example. If I’m doing well, people are learning how to practice the kinds of behaviors I’d like to see happening more often, right from the start.

Posting with respect makes all the difference

I’m always mindful of posting in group discussion spaces. I assume, especially if I am not a longtime regular of a particular discussion space, that the folks there are going to be skeptical about the intentions of someone unfamiliar coming in and posting in their group.

So I am extremely careful with how I go about posting. For one, I never include links - it’s an instant red flag, no matter what else I write. Sometimes, I go even further - I don’t provide direct information about what I’m working on in any way.

If I share any specifics, I want it to be fully opt-in. If someone replies to my post asking for more info, I’ll gladly share it - but only when that community’s members have explicitly asked for it. I consider this core etiquette for posting on the open web.

Picking your spots

I have a long list of online groups, channels, and other spaces I might post in. I also have accounts or people I might reach out to. This includes Subreddit and NextDoor accounts, local news blogs, Instagram events aggregators, and a ton of Facebook groups.

For my directory update, I decided to start with two potentially solid channels: NextDoor and one of the biggest Norwalk Facebook Groups.

At some point, I may also post on Reddit and one or more of the other Facebook groups.

You can simply ask folks to help

How do I post in a way that shows people I’m genuinely here to ask for help and provide value for the community? I start with the etiquette guidelines I mentioned above - and I focus on creating an invitation for folks to share what they know and what they are proud of or excited to talk more about. 

In this case, my posts went something like this:

What clubs or groups are you a part of?
Hey neighbors! I’m updating my community directory for Norwalk and would love to know what other social groups are out there I might be missing. I'd like to have a nice refreshed list in time for my New in Town Meetup later this month.
Recreational sports, watch parties, book clubs, potlucks… you name it! If someone can join it, I want to know about it. 🙂
I’d also love to know if there are any contacts at local religious or service organizations I can include.
What ya got? Share links or details!

In this case, I’m not being shy about the fact that I’m doing two things that folks might find interesting: updating my directory and hosting an event. But because I’m not emphasizing these things or trying to promote them, I’m demonstrating my intention to engage in a different way.

I don’t want to simply promote my stuff to you - even if it’s pretty clear that I also want to do that. First and foremost, I want to spread the word about the groups you are a part of. I want to provide value to you.

I’m also creating an opening for folks to shout out their own stuff. That extra bit of permission might unlock some value in the discussion space… after all, they’re part of a group to learn more things from each other!

It worked really, really well.

Folks love to help when you invite them to

Pretty quickly, responses started rolling in. Within minutes, I had several responses offering information about groups I didn’t know about:

This unlocked the next phase: prompt responses. 

Any good social media nerd will tell you that responding to people in the comments is one of the best ways you can entice more people to respond. It increases the comment counts, pleases the algorithm, and shows people who are considering responding that you are paying attention and appreciating the others who have posted. It provides just a little extra encouragement. 

And, right on cue, I got a couple of requests for more info about what I’m working on:

Overall, I received more than a dozen new suggestions to add. I got a few that I knew about already, and a few that didn’t really fit what I was looking for, but I responded to all of them and asked followup questions where appropriate. 

At the very least, I got some great new tips to add to my list, which will help me provide value to the community, but I also built up some goodwill and visibility in these discussion spaces…and a few more RSVPs for my upcoming event as well. 

Two posts, copy-pasted on two sites, plus a couple hours of monitoring for comments to reply to. 

Feel free to copy mine 🙂